The ABC’s of Dating in your 30’s

My friends and I often joke about the ABC’s of dating in your 30’s: A- Aging (or awkward), B- Balding, C- Children, D- Divorced.  It’s the reality of the small pond we are seemingly fishing out of.  And if you can’t laugh about it, well, you’ve got to be able to laugh at it.  This topic somehow came up the last time I was with my family about a month ago.  My mother, always desiring to be hip apparently remembered the conversation and sent me this last email at noon last friday:

What were you saying about datable men when you are over thirty?  Bald?  Children?

xoxoxox

I made the assumption that she was living up the retired life having a liquid lunch with ladies.  And, more than likely they were conspiring for their next set up for me.  I complied and sent her the list, inquiring as to why she wanted to know.  About 20 min. later this was the response I got from her:

we added to the list:

e:  emotionally unavailable

f: F*** up

g: gross

h:  heavy

i: ignorant

j: jobless

k: killer

l:  lonely

m: married

n: needy

o: obese/ obnoxious

p: peculiar/picky/perverted

q: queer

r: risky

s: slob

t: tight

u: ugly

v: vicious

w: whiny/wasted/wild

x: xenophile

y: yinzer

z: zoophilic

Turns out she wasn’t drinking with the ladies, though she had help from my older sister.  I think it’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time.  Mostly because a lot of it is true.  Dating is an adventure for sure.  Most of the time it doesn’t work out, but most of the time those dates turn into great stories and even better learning experiences.  We continue to stick it out hoping that one time it’s a different kind of good story.  And if I’m really honest with myself, a little part of me was a little disappointed I didn’t have another, likely bad, blind date to go on.

I also realized that this list is confirmation that I’ll always be a little bit of a jackass.  I come by it honestly.

Resolutions, I can keep

I’m terrible at making resolutions and keeping them.   In fact I rarely if ever partake in this New Years Tradition.  Sometime around the new year, it might have even been new years day, during a conversation with some friends we decided that in 2011 we would go see 11 concerts and have 11 dinner parties.  The three of us all love live music, good food, and a well crafted beverage.  Seemed like a reasonable goal.  My other general vague theme for the year was Healthy Huie 2011, but that’s another post for another day.

11 concerts in 2011, it’s balanced and seemingly doable.  That’s one concert a month with one month off (or multiple months off if you double up one month).  This also is easy b/c I live about 3 blocks from the 9:30 Club, one of my favorite venues that always has good shows.

Today I am reporting progress on my concert goal.  I’m happy to report that 2011 thus far has been a good year for live shows.  I’ve managed to see and/or buy tickets for several bands that I’ve never seen but always wanted to, and I’ve got high hopes that some old favorites will be touring this summer.

Here’s the list:

1.29.11- Dr. Dog (930)- see here for my love of Dr. Dog, and check them out if they are playing anywhere you are.  Seriously so good.  

2.23.11- Pat Green (930)  I’ve wanted to see Pat Green for a long time.  I’ve also wanted to be from Texas.  Glad I saw him, wouldn’t necessarily put him back at the top of my list.  (sorry about the poor sound on this video… it was the best I could do) 

3.15.11- Lucinda Williams (930) What can I say, the woman can sing.  And she’s got angst.  I’d read reviews that her new album was more settled and she was in a better place, which worried me.  But she brought it and the stuff she played from the new album was great, too.

3.27.11- Over the Rhine (The Birchmere)  I’ve loved OTR since college, and they still get it.  Karen Bergquist and Linford Detweiler have ridiculous chemistry, and they make beautiful music.  Their new album is also amazing.    And check out their website it’s also awesome… http://www.overtherhine.com/

Upcoming:

5.15.11- Amos Lee, Josh Ritter, Eric Hutchinson, Mason Jennings, Justin Jones, and Bobby Long (The Pier Six Pavillion)

6.9.11- Mumford and Sons w/ the Low Anthem (Merriweather Post Pavilion

6.12.11- Indigo Girls (Wolftrap)  

I’m hoping that I can arrange to see the Avett Brothers, Wilco, and Arcade Fire this summer, too.  What about you 5 blog readers, any concerts you are hoping to catch this summer?  Or suggestions of ones I shouldn’t miss?

St. Michaels, MD

I went to St. Michaels on the Eastern Shore of MD this weekend for my roommates bachelorette party.  It was the first time I’d been to the Eastern Shore, and while old man winter continued to hang out for the weekend, it was amazing.  The Eastern Shore is a part of the country full of charm.  I loved walking around the town and exploring the cute little shops.

The other great part about the weekend was being with a fantastic group of girls.  The weekend was full of great food, great conversation, and laughing till we cried.  There’s something about getting away from the business of the city, even for just a day and a half that is so rejuvenating.  All the more when spent with good friends.

Metro Mishaps

There is this phenomenon in my life that certain things happen to me that don’t happen to other people.  They are almost always hilarious in hindsight, but often are not so much in the moment.  This is one of those stories.

I live in DC and rely on public transportation to get me around town.  One morning a couple of years ago I was on my way to work.  It was a damp spring morning.  One of those mornings that makes you think you have been unknowingly somehow been transported to Portland or Seattle with its almost but not quite rain.  I walked the four blocks from my house to the metro like any other day.  I was dressed to impress in my black business suit and cute ballet flats.

Here’s the thing, I am petrified that I will become one of those federal workers in DC who wears tennis shoes with their business suits.  I am vain and prideful, and refuse to become that person.  Thus, the cute but laceless flats.

As I head down to the train platform there is a train already in the station, but the doors are closed and I’m not rushing for the train.  I get to the bottom of the escalator make a u-turn to walk back towards the other end of the station when the morning starts to rapidly unravel.  I slip and to catch myself from completely falling I kick my foot out to catch my balance.

What happened next was in slow motion.  My shoe flies off of my foot and hurtles towards the train parked on the tracks.  It hits the closed metro door and drops directly onto the tracks.  Is I try and balance on one foot I look at the woman behind me and say; “Please tell me that didn’t just happen.”  to which she responds “Oh, that just happened”, with a horrified look on her face.  I peer over the edge of the platform and there lies my shoe.

At this point I have a decision to make- I can try and hop down the six feet and grab my shoe in the four minutes before the next train comes; I can go home and get new shoes; or I can continue on my way to work knowing that I have a pair of heels under my desk.  I did what I thought was most reasonable, which was to call the office and tell them I was going to be late as I walked out of the metro station and the four blocks back home with one shoe on and one shoe off.  I prayed the whole way that I wouldn’t see anyone I knew and have to try and explain this awkward walk of shame.

You can’t make this up, and it doesn’t happen to normal people.